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Get Your Ex Back 

Get Your Ex BackIf you follow me on social media, you may be familiar with my “Get Your Ex Back” campaign. At first glance, the phrase “Get Your Ex Back” may have a negative connotation. One might assume that the phrase is encouraging one to pursue their ex-regardless of their current situation. Or some might assume that “Getting Your Ex Back” means that there may not be another person capable of loving you, and your only option is to settle for your ex. My hope in this message is to not imply either of the two thoughts. I hope to encourage everyone reading this to be true in their feelings, to remove their pride, to put forth effort and to bring love where love is lost.

Most relationships nowadays end prematurely. Why? Because as people, we do not know how to communicate, nor do we know how to problem solve when situations are not in our favor. When things aren’t in our favor, we run. Most of the time, we are dealing with temporary emotions of anger, hurt and/or sadness because we haven’t been taught how to cope. Instead we return the emotion we’re feeling, preventing both parties from working together -and then things begin to spiral and all of a sudden it ends. We do not deal with it and instead we chalk our significant other up as being “a headache” with hopes that doing so will make us feel better about our decision to leave the situation. Unfulfilled temporary emotions leads to permanently thinking “What if.”

How many of you are currently thinking “What if?” How many of those “what if’s” are within your control? How many of those “What if’s” could have been avoided through communication and teamwork?

Social media has ruined us. It gives us a false assumption that there is always so much better than what we currently have. We live in a time now, for example, that women are beginning to look the same because of the same enhanced body parts in order to draw the attention of the same pool of individuals. We live in a time in which if your significant other doesn’t wine and dine you on $200 dates then that person doesn’t love you. We live in a time in which if your significant other isn’t “crazy” that person doesn’t care for you. Social media has heightened imagination. Heightened to a point that if our significant others do not represent these trends then we are going to argue and fight about why they can’t, or choose not to, and we search for what society says we need to be happy while ignoring our personal needs. Social media makes it look easy to find that fairy-tale love that will be accepted by the majority, making it easy to leave our current “situation.”

Get Your Ex Back campaign was developed from the idea that we are currently living in a generation that is so easy to give up on relationship, on love, on self, and on other people. So many people are still in love with people they were in a relationship with in the past, preventing them from being truly happy while putting the person they are currently with in distress.

• You still check your ex’s social media?

• Inquire about what, when and how they’re doing?

• Keep in touch with their family as though they’re yours?

• Make excuses as to why you stay in contact with them?

• Save everything they have ever given you, often time reminiscing?

• Every song on the radio still reminds you of them?

• Trying to throw your current relationship in their face? (who are you in a relationship for? For you and you’re happy? Or to make your ex upset?)

The whole time you’re in a new relationship and the person you’re with is intimidated by your ex because they know you do not truly love them – or at least not how you loved your ex. It hurts them to realize this, but still they love you. They try to love you enough for you to see past your ex; however the truth is, you can’t love someone out of loving someone else. Secretly, your current significant other is living in misery, but is trying to stay strong because he/she doesn’t want to feel like a failure… Let it Go! Remember hurt people, hurt people. By stringing this person along, you will indeed hurt them because you are unsure of where you are, mentally and/or emotionally. You may like this person a lot and you may even try your hardest to love them to the best of your ability, but remember you can only operate at your level of comprehension. If you have not fully comprehended that you are over your ex, guess what? You will operate in that sense even when you try not to.

Spare yourself and spare the feelings of others who try to love you. Give yourself time to get over your ex… or go and get your ex back.

Get your ex back only if it is beneficial for both parties.

In getting your ex back, you don’t jump to getting your ex back and being back in a relationship right away. You work towards it; you both do. You re-learn each other. You communicate openly about your hurts, your happiness, your wants and needs and you make sure they are in alignment with one another.

One thing we have to remember is that, we all change. The relationship, the breakup, the things we’ve experienced after the breakup are all factors that contribute to where we are currently. You have to be patient with each other and you have to be honest with one another, and yourself.

We are all broken pieces. We all have our flaws. We all have our triggers. We have things we can control and we have things that we cannot. Control what you can, and if it makes sense to get your ex back, go and get your ex back!

Some will say “he/she is an ex for a reason.” In some cases this is true. It is up to you to determine if it is worth it based on your experience/situation. My goal is to encourage you to reflect on the possibility. Get your ex back to all who may be fighting the urge. But for others, it may not be for us to get our ex back. For some, your role may have been to help your ex and for them to help us…. to be better for the next person.

Warning: Don’t get your ex back if what you two had was misery.

11 thoughts on “Get Your Ex Back 

  1. Dynasty Gladney says:

    You are so inspiring and reading your book really gave me a reality check, you hit a lot of important things in which we all overlook but it has definitely brought back a sense of control in my life and has helped me understand that I have carried things from my childhood and past relationships into new ones, Thank You Stephanie❤

  2. Sending that “Hey Stranger” text now. Lol. Seriously, it getting through things rather than giving up is a skill we lack as Millenials.

  3. Anita Profit says:

    This is so true! I tried loving my ex so hard that she’d forget about her ex. It didn’t work. As a matter of fact I started going crazy. I began to step out of character and i became extremely aggressive. Those three years allowed me to mature into a woman. Lol.. Those songs have thinking me like… “come see me for once”.

  4. When I tell you this is so true… love it!! Hit every nail to say I got my ex back and I’ve been filled with joy since… #Getyourexback

  5. Love this!!! I am such a sucker for love and going through the breaks and getting back together with my now husband was based on a lot of what you touched on! We were able to grow and learn each other to make it work! Great reading!

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