The Invisible Mate

 

Ever felt invisible?

 

Invisible- Unable to be seen; not visible to the eye.

 

Being invisible hurts. Like all you want to do is be noticed, be acknowledged feel wanted. Instead, it’s almost like you don’t exist.

 

Remember when:

 

You got your hair done differently, they didn’t notice.

 

You changed your nail color, they didn’t notice.

 

You got dressed up in something nice or sexy, they didn’t notice

 

You just had a big event, they didn’t even ask how it went or even say congratulations.

 

Almost like you don’t even exist in their world… almost like you’re invisible.

 

Wait, let’s take it back, remember when,

 

You first got together and everything was great, almost like a fairytale.. You just KNEW THIS was your “happily ever after.” You probably were around each other all of the time and when you weren’t you were texting each other corny things like:

 

“Just thinking of you”

“Do you need anything”

“How’s your day going”

“I miss you”

 

Oh yeah, don’t forget the emojis.

 

The days you mattered and you actually FELT it. There’s nothing you wouldn’t do for this person then all of a sudden… well slowly because rarely does it happen so abruptly.. You see it happening, but you don’t say anything because may they’re having a bad day.. Bad day turns into weeks, weeks turn into months and now you’re… invisible.

 

Life is happening, but now you’re only going with the motions and the only thing that separates you from other people, as it relates to your mate is your title… which is barely there, but there nonetheless.

 

Of course it’s not invisible in the physical sense, but emotionally and mentally you don’t FEEL the love or affection that was once there. Every time you mention something now, the other person doesn’t see it due to oblivion, tunnel vision of simply lack of care.

 

They use excuses such as “I’m busy’ “something came up” or “I don’t feel like it” , but remember when you two first started you were the reason they were busy, the reason something came up and reason for why they didn’t feel like it.

 

The more you ask, the more you become a nag … a nagging ghost.

 

It is true that relationships shift and change, but relationships should never feel one person feeling inadequate. As we get into our careers, it’s just we do become busy, but we should never be too busy for our mate.

 

Love yourself they say… well they are telling the truth!! But, we cannot pretend like once we do love ourselves that our relationships with others do not matter. Our brains are wired in way in which we actually have social needs that have to be met, that consist of affection and attention from others.

 

We can’t continue to make excuses, if something is wrong, fix it… The key is communication. Use “I statements and be truthful in how you feel.. Ghost may not have feelings, but people do..  you are not invisible.

 

A lack of communication can grow a problem and create distance between two people who actually love each other. In relationships, we can’t avoid all problems, but we can limit the number of problems through communication.

 

We all want to feel appreciated. To feel valued. To be needed. Especially by the person we love.

 

If you’re reading this message and you have a mate, make sure they visible. Make sure they know they matter and make sure not only can they see you, but they can feel you too.

 

“The Deepest Craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated”

-William James