"Sorry I am busy"

"Unfortunately, my calendar is full, maybe next time?"

"I have no availability."

and then the good ol saying goes "People make time for what they want to make time for"... sure indeed, but let's take a step back for a minute.

Most people think when they hear a person state "I am busy" that the person is making an excuse and then they start to make assumptions: "Maybe this person is afraid to open up" or "maybe this person is playing hard to get" or "maybe this person has no interest in me" or "maybe this person is seeing someone and prefers to keep it a secret"... or how about maybe, just maybe the person is really just BUSY. Maybe being busy ISN'T an excuse.

So often I find myself trying to calculate how much time I will have to shower and get myself dressed or the many of times I am driving, eating lunch and sending an email just to make sure things get done on time. Other times, I am trying to figure out what time I have to force myself into bed to get a reasonable amount of sleep just to repeat the same cycle again in the morning. I honestly can't even imagine trying to fit someone in ... especially someone who hasn't given me reason to.

Does being busy keep me single, I don't believe so. Does being busy eliminate people who won't fit into your life... I think so.

Having a busy schedule/busy life teaches you the value of time. In the midst of a busy schedule, if one is going to stop and take a break, understand that break has to be worthwhile and bring ... value. Now, don't get it misconstrued this is not a blog promoting "All hail the Busy person" but lets be real, if you find yourself constantly trying to pursue this person, then I think it is safe to say: you already see the value in them ... and sometimes- most times, a busy person has tunnel vision, so yes it may be a tad bit harder for them to see the value in you- not saying it's not there, it is just not their focus.

Not to mention.. energy. In this day and age one must be mindful with the energy they allow into their space.. the wrong energy can be a distraction.

Can you imagine the number of dms and messages a man or woman receives regularly? Can you imagine taking time out of your schedule and going on a date - movies or dinner, with everyone that asks?? OMG when will there be time to get things done?!

Most people do not understand this, that is why it is easy to weed out the individuals who may not be a good fit. Most want to talk with no action and others I am convinced, what to "shoot their shot" just to say they did it.

Anywho, if you want to date a busy person offer something to their life that they aren't getting from their busy schedule. Consistency is key. A simple gesture letting them know you are thinking of them goes a long way. Paying attention to detail matters. Separating yourself from the pack goes a long way.

One thing to note about a busy person is that most times they have already decided to make the sacrifice of being alone as they are focused with the understanding that when the time is right.. they'll know or with the belief that the right person will come around and help them carry some of the weight (helping to carry their weight in a sense that they may be able to provide resources and perspectives) which in turn will free up their time.

No, my busy life isn't keeping me single at night ... because we all make time for what we want to make time for.

Busy people are selective, as we all should be, you want us to put down that ten page proposal/business plan, reschedule calls with potential partners and resources.. then give us a reason.

-Steph Crosley