Think of something, or someone, that is extremely important to you. How do you treat them(it) How do you care for them(it)? How do you ensure that they know they are loved? Now, think of yourself. Do you practice the same techniques or use the same energy to care and love on yourself?
When one is naturally a caretaker, taking care of “you” often times gets put on the back burner. As a caretaker, we want to make sure that those who are dependent on our time, energy, care, support, love, etc. get taken care of first. We underestimate the value of how much we ourselves need that same effort to stay leveled. In life we assume so many roles. Briefly jot down or create a list of every hat you wear: mother, spouse, auntie, teacher, business owner, worker, etc. and divide your total number of roles by 100. What percentage of each are you really giving? Now, add YOU to the equation. Who are you for YOU? And how much of “you” are you dedicating to yourself? As cliche as it sounds, you cannot pour from an empty glass. Once your glass is empty and when you need you, where are you going to pour from?
For me personally, I did not pour from anywhere. I was drained. I was unmotivated. I was Uninspired. I wanted to sleep all day because I had very low energy. I wanted to give up. When you’ve been a lot of things to a lot of people, something I do not regret, it will take its toll on you, and that toll hits different when you can’t deliver.
For the past five years, I have dedicated my time, energy, resources and money to helping those around me. I never thought twice about it because I am a firm believer that “you will get back from the universe what you put into the universe.” My goal has always been to help those around me continue to progress because that’s where my joy comes from - seeing people win. As 31 slowly comes to an end for me, I can tell you all that my glass was very close to being empty, and I felt it. I felt it mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. In order to save the last drop I had left, I realized I had to pull back from a few projects and focus on restoring ME.
Through this process, one thing that I have learned and have decided to accept is: YOU HAVE TO MAKE YOURSELF A PRIORITY. When you treat yourself as a priority, those around you will actually benefit from you more, which will ultimately expand your reach. Treating yourself as a priority will keep your glass full and will allow you to feel more at peace. Treating yourself as a priority will allow for you to excel in areas you thought you were not good in. Treating yourself as a priority is essential to your own well-being.Taking care of you and your life’s impact will make your life so much greater, and anyone can take the steps to make it happen!
These are the 7 things I plan to incorporate into my life to ensure I treat myself as a priority:
- Be okay with saying “No” and do not feel bad about it. When you start to feel bad about saying “no” you feel guilty and then you commit to doing something your heart isn’t even really into. You commit to something you do not want to do, and although you go through with it, your energy is off and it negatively impacts your experience anyway (and likely the experiences of others). You are not obligated to give your time, energy, or money if you do not want to.
- Do more of what you love!! Think about it, in a 7 day period, approximately 168 hours, at least 40 of those hours are dedicated to work, between 42-56 of those hours are dedicated to sleep, what are you doing with the 80-90 hours that are leftover? It is so essential that we intentionally make time for ourselves and doing the things we love because it makes all the other times worthwhile.
- Pay attention to your body, energy & thoughts. You will become what you eat, what you think and who you surround yourself - so choose wisely. Control the controllable.
- Let go of relationships that have outrun their courses. We tend to like to hold on to history, but the best thing you can do with history is note what was learned and apply those lessons moving forward. This includes relationships of all sorts: friendships, romantic, professional, familial, etc.. If it is no longer feeding your growth, LET. IT. GO.. A lot of times we exert way more energy keeping things and people around when it’s time to let go. Everything is not meant to last forever.
- Speak life into yourself: I AM Good Enough. I AM Beautiful. I AM Worthy. I HAVE Purpose. I AM Loved. I LOVE ME. Remind yourself constantly of your worth.
- Know that it is okay to build a team. Building a team around you in any aspect of life (personal or professional), can alleviate the weight of things to do, and stress, allowing you to….
- Embrace your emotions. Remember, you do not have to be strong or tough all of the time; you are human! It is okay to cry, to be sad, to be angry, just don't allow those emotions to linger and build up. Know that it isn't the weight of the straw that broke the camel's back, it was the amount of things that was already there, the straw was just the breaking point. Your feelings matter, release, reflect and move on.
And here's a bonus: NEVER SELL YOURSELF SHORT! If people are requesting your presence, your knowledge, or your service, please know it is because they see your worth and value, so be sure that YOU always see your worth and value.
Welcome 32. I have declared you: My Selfish Year. Happy Birthday to me!
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